HSK 4 · Article · 606 characters · Listen: mandarinthewild.com/library/read/what-is-face-mianzi-in-chinese-culture

什么是“面子”？

What is face (mianzi) in Chinese culture?

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在zài中国zhōngguó的de饭馆fànguǎn里，你nǐ可能kěnéng会huì看到kàndào这样zhèyàng的de事情shìqing：吃chī完wán饭fàn，两liǎng个gè人rén同时tóngshí站zhàn起来qǐlai，一个yígè拿ná着zhe手机shǒujī，一个yígè拿ná着zhe钱包qiánbāo，抢qiǎng着zhe买单mǎidān。“我wǒ来lái！”“不行bùxíng，我wǒ来lái！”两liǎng个gè人rén几乎jīhū要yào吵chǎo起来qǐlai了le。

他们tāmen真的zhēnde那么nàme想xiǎng花钱huāqián吗ma？不bù完全wánquán是shì。他们tāmen抢qiǎng的de，其实qíshí是shì“面子miànzi”。

“面子miànzi”本来běnlái的de意思yìsi就是jiùshì脸liǎn。可是kěshì在zài中文zhōngwén里，它tā更gèng多duō指zhǐ的de是shì一yí个gè人rén在zài别人biéren眼yǎn里的de样子yàngzi：别人biéren尊重不尊重zūnzhòngbuzūnzhòng你nǐ，看得起kàndeqǐ看不起kànbuqǐ你nǐ。请客qǐngkè的de人rén有yǒu面子miànzi，因为yīnwèi这zhè说明shuōmíng他tā舍得shěde花钱huāqián，也yě说明shuōmíng他tā把bǎ朋友péngyǒu当回事dànghuíshì。

所以suóyǐ，中国人zhōngguórén特别tèbié爱ài说shuō跟gēn面子miànzi有关yǒuguān的de话huà。比如bǐrú，朋友péngyǒu请qǐng你nǐ吃饭chīfàn，你nǐ去qù了le，这zhè就jiù叫jiào“给gěi他tā面子miànzi”。如果rúguǒ你nǐ在zài很hěn多duō人rén面前miànqián说shuō老板láobǎn错cuò了le，老板láobǎn就jiù会huì觉得juéde“丢面子diūmiànzi”，也yě就是jiùshì觉得juéde大家dàjiā看不起kànbuqǐ他tā了le。有的yǒude人rén为了wèile面子miànzi，自己zìjǐ再zài难nán也yě不bù说shuō，甚至shènzhì借钱jièqián请客qǐngkè也yě愿意yuànyì，人们rénmen就jiù说shuō他tā“死要面子sǐyàomiànzi活受罪huóshòuzuì”。

有意思yǒuyìsi的de是shì，中文zhōngwén里还有háiyǒu一yí个gè词cí，叫jiào“脸liǎn”。它tā和hé面子miànzi很hěn像xiàng，可是kěshì不bù完全wánquán一样yíyàng。一九四四年yījiǔsìsìnián，一yí位wèi中国zhōngguó女nǚ学者xuézhě专门zhuānmén写xiě文章wénzhāng比较bǐjiào过guò这zhè两liǎng个gè词cí。按照ànzhào她tā的de说法shuōfǎ，面子miànzi更gèng像xiàng别人biéren对duì你nǐ的de看法kànfǎ，有钱yǒuqián、有yǒu地位dìwèi、事情shìqing办bàn得de漂亮piàoliang，面子miànzi就jiù大dà；脸liǎn更gèng像xiàng一yí个gè人rén是不是shìbúshì好人hǎorén、能不能néngbunéng让ràng人rén相信xiāngxìn。所以suóyǐ，说shuō一yí个gè人rén“没méi面子miànzi”，只是zhǐshì有点儿yóudiǎnr不好意思bùhǎoyìsi；可是kěshì说shuō一yí个gè人rén“不要脸búyàoliǎn”，这zhè可是kěshì在zài骂人màrén了le。

面子miànzi这么zhème重要zhòngyào，作家zuòjiā鲁迅lǔxùn也yě注意zhùyì到dào了le。一九三四年yījiǔsānsìnián，他tā写xiě了le一yì篇piān文章wénzhāng，叫jiào《说shuō“面子miànzi”》。他tā说shuō，有yǒu外国人wàiguórén认为rènwéi，面子miànzi是shì理解líjiě中国zhōngguó人rén的de关键guānjiàn。可是kěshì到底dàodǐ什么shénme是shì面子miànzi呢ne？鲁迅lǔxùn说shuō：不bú去qù想xiǎng还好háihǎo，一yì想xiǎng就jiù觉得juéde糊涂hútu。

那么nàme，在zài中国zhōngguó跟gēn别人biéren在zài一起yìqǐ，要yào注意zhùyì什么shénme呢ne？很hěn简单jiǎndān：别bié让ràng人rén在zài大家dàjiā面前miànqián丢面子diūmiànzi。想xiǎng说shuō别人biéren的de问题wèntí，尽量jǐnliàng避免bìmiǎn在zài大家dàjiā面前miànqián说shuō。别人biéren称赞chēngzàn你nǐ，你nǐ可以kéyǐ客气kèqi一下yíxià。朋友péngyǒu请qǐng了le你nǐ，下次xiàcì记得jìde也yě请qǐng他tā一次yícì。

最后zuìhòu告诉gàosù你nǐ一个yígè小xiǎo办法bànfǎ：如果rúguǒ你nǐ想xiǎng请客qǐngkè，又yòu不想bùxiǎng吃chī完wán饭fàn跟gēn人rén抢qiǎng着zhe买单mǎidān，那nà就jiù吃chī到dào一半yíbàn，说shuō要yào去qù洗手间xíshǒujiān，然后ránhòu偷偷tōutōu把bǎ钱qián付fù了le。不少bùshǎo中国zhōngguó人rén都dōu会huì这么zhème做zuò。

Key words

Word	Pinyin	Meaning
其实	qíshí	actually; in fact
别人	biéren	other people; others; someone else
特别	tèbié	special; unusual; especially; particularly
有关	yǒuguān	related; relevant; concerned; to have to do with
比如	bǐrú	for example; for instance; such as
面前	miànqián	in front of; before; in the face of
难	nán	difficult; hard
同时	tóngshí	at the same time; simultaneously
完全	wánquán	completely; entirely; totally; complete; whole
指	zhǐ	to mean; to refer to
样子	yàngzi	appearance; look
说明	shuōmíng	explanation; instructions; to explain; to illustrate

English (for the teacher)

In a Chinese restaurant you may see something like this: after the meal, two people stand up at the same moment, one holding a phone and the other a wallet, each grabbing the bill. “I’ve got this!” “No, I’ve got it!” The two are almost ready to quarrel. Do they really want to spend money that badly?

Not exactly. What they are fighting over is actually “face”. “Face” (面子) originally just means the face.

But in Chinese it more often means how a person looks in other people’s eyes: whether others respect you, whether they think highly of you. The person who treats gains face, because it shows he doesn’t mind spending money and that he takes his friends seriously. So Chinese people love expressions about face.

For example, if a friend invites you to dinner and you go, that is called “giving him face”. If you tell your boss he is wrong in front of lots of people, he will feel he has “lost face”, that is, that everyone now looks down on him. Some people, for the sake of face, never admit how hard things are and will even borrow money to treat others, and people say of them that they “insist on face and suffer for it”. Interestingly, Chinese has another word too: 脸, “face”.

It is a lot like 面子, but not quite the same. In 1944 a Chinese woman scholar wrote a paper comparing the two words. In her account, 面子 is more like what others think of you: with money, status and things done in style, your face is big; 脸 is more about whether a person is good and can be trusted. So to say someone “has no face” (没面子) just means they are a bit awkward, but to say someone “doesn’t want face” (不要脸), meaning they are shameless, is an insult. Face is so important that the writer Lu Xun noticed it too.

In 1934 he wrote an essay called “On Face”. He wrote that some foreigners believed face was the key to understanding the Chinese. But what exactly is face? Lu Xun said it is fine as long as you don’t think about it; the moment you do, you get muddled. So what should you watch out for when you’re with people in China?

It’s simple: don’t make anyone lose face in front of everyone. If you want to point out someone’s problem, try not to do it in front of everyone. When someone praises you, you can be modest about it. When a friend treats you, remember to treat them next time. Finally, here’s a little trick.

If you want to pay but don’t want to fight over the bill at the end of the meal, then halfway through say you’re going to the toilet and quietly pay. Plenty of Chinese people do exactly that.